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Why It's Important to Have a Plan B
I started my journey out as a doula but not a mom, now I can officially change that title to a doula and a mom!
Also as a doula, I find it important to share my birth experience with others, so here is my birth story. My story did not go as I planned so I will also be highlighting the importance of having a plan b.
Given my job, I wanted the least interventions as possible for my birth. My ideal birth was all natural and at home. I made a very long birth document of stages of labor, foods to eat during labor, positions for labor and delivery, essential oils and what they are good for, and other details of the like. I wanted to have a peaceful homebirth, so that’s what was planned. But like most things, my birth did not go as planned.
I went into labor around 7 am on a Sunday. My husband and I made our way to church still as contractions were far enough apart and irregular enough that we weren’t sure if it was prodromal labor or early labor.
After church I decided to take a nap and set up the room I planned to birth in. Contractions were still coming around the same intervals but getting slightly stronger, so I decided to take a shower for some pain relief, and because if baby did decide to make an appearance, who knew when my next real shower was going to be.
After my shower, I ate some snacks and decided I needed to lay down again. My husband and I picked a movie to watch as a distraction. We finished the movie around 11pm and I picked another movie as another distraction. We started the movie around midnight and made it approximately 30 seconds into the second movie before I realized my contractions were getting too intense and the movie was not a helpful distraction.
My husband decided to put on some music for me, dim the lights, and help me work through my contractions. At this point I realized I was in active labor and this was the real deal.
My husband and I made our way into the room I wanted to birth in and labored there. I laid down and by 1 am realized I was now in transition.
By 2 am I hit the pushing phase. Since I was at home, I did not have any cervical exams telling me I was 10 cm and it was time to push, my body just started pushing involuntarily. I was super excited as this meant we could meet baby any minute. But baby didn’t come. I knew pushing could take a few hours so I just kept pushing. My husband helped me move positions and tried pushing in different positions. But baby still wasn’t coming. I felt a prick in my spirit that something was wrong. By 5 am baby still hadn’t arrived yet so I made the call to transfer to the hospital for the safety of myself and our baby.
It took a little while to get me into the car while actively pushing but we made it to the hospital around 6 am. When arriving at the hospital some of the staff didn’t believe me when I said I had been pushing since 2 am, they thought I was mistaken and meant I had been in labor since 2 am. When they realized I had in fact been pushing since 2 am they started discussing the need for a c-section.
My doctor came up to me and was very descriptive giving me informed consent as to her reasoning behind possibly needing a c-section. She was worried about how tired my uterus was and the possibility of something being wrong since baby wasn’t moving. She gave me time to think about it, and in the end I agreed to be prepped for a c-section, but still wanted to try to give birth vaginally.
The nurse was able to put an IV in me as my doctor was speaking to me again about how much longer I should wait before being taken to the OR. She explained the procedure and what my husbands role in it would be. As she was speaking to me my waters broke. All the medical staff gathered around and encouraged me to push. I could feel baby’s head coming but I had no strength left to push him out. Finally his head was birthed but he got true shoulder dystocia and got stuck. No amount of pushing that I was doing was able to free him. My doctor was able to free him and he was born, but was limp. It took less than a minute to revitalize him and once he was crying he was handed to me immediately.
While my heart was set on a homebirth, I have never been more at peace with a decision than my decision to transfer to the hospital. In my big birth document I made I had a homebirth birth plan and a back up hospital birth plan just in case. I was obviously hoping to not need a hospital birth plan but thankful I had a plan b since I did need it. And I was super thankful the hospital staff made me feel safe and as “at home” as possible in a hospital setting.
Not only did having a plan b for the hospital possibly save my baby, but it made it easier to come to terms with needing to go because I accepted it was a possibility. It also helped when the discussion came up about a possible c-section. I am thankful I did not need a plan c as well but also am appreciative to have had a plan b in place. I am also thankful for my husbands support in my birth plans. He was there for me the whole time. He did not condemn me for not choosing to go to the hospital sooner, and did not judge me when I was no longer able to labor at home anymore. And since we already discussed a plan b, he was able to tell the hospital staff my wishes when we arrived. He was my rational thought when the discussion of a c-section came up because we talked about it prior to being in labor. He knew my wishes for when baby was born and was able to communicate them to the staff. If we did not have a plan b in place, he would have still assisted me, but potentially had a harder time communicating my wishes with the hospital staff.
While I don’t know what the future holds, I know I am thankful for my plan b as I believe it’s the reason my baby is here with us today. In the end, I am sad I did not get the birth I wanted, but at peace with how everything turned out. I am thankful to the hospital staff, but most of all my husband. He is who gave me the strength to birth our beautiful baby and I am so thankful to have labored with him.
Thank you for your support in my new business and endeavors and I cannot wait to share more with you. If you would like a free consultation, have any questions, or just have something to say, feel free to reach out to me by my contacts page, email, or text. I look forward to where we will go together.
